


A Pain that I'm Used to

by orphan_account



Category: Naruto
Genre: ANBU - Freeform, Action/Adventure, Aftermath of Torture, Blood and Violence, Butterfly Effect, Character Death, Fix-It, Fluff, Gen, Genderswap, Humor, Missing-Nin, No Angst, Original Character(s), POV First Person, Pretty Messed Up, Self-Insert, Torture, alternative universe somewhere along the lines, lots of blood, many different characters, preventing a war, serious shit later on, will try to keep it real
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-29
Updated: 2018-01-30
Packaged: 2019-03-10 20:15:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 7
Words: 17,447
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13508988
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Being reincarnated makes you live lying. Well, that's not going to break me. If I'm here, then I'll at least try to change things for the best and save as many innocents as possible. Sacrificing myself isn't that big of a price. Or another SI-OC story.Rated M for violence and language.





	1. Prologue: When Universes Collide

 

* * *

_The secret of change is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the old, but on building the new. – Socrates_

* * *

Life is an interesting thing. While all we do is search for its meaning, we never stop to think that there is none. It's always shifting, always moving. We delude ourselves with abstract ideas, believing in permanence. For as long as I could remember myself, I've always thought of myself as an average human being, living a normal life. I believed that nothing was special about me, forgetting one very important fact: everyone is special.

My death was rather embarrassing. I didn't die saving a life. Neither did it happen in a car incident. Not a disease. Nope, I went the way the idiots like me go.

It was Friday night. I was in my bedroom, getting ready for a date. Being the crazy moron I am, I decided to put on makeup simultaneously with getting dressed. Come on, what 21-year-old girl doesn't do it this way when being late.

So I ended up running around the room with a powder compact in one hand and jeans in another. No wonder that the jeans got caught onto something, making me lose balance and drop the powder onto my face. I ended up sneezing, tripping over my leg and hitting the corner of the desk with my temple.

Sorry dude, no date for you. At least it was only supposed to be our first date.

So yep, went the loser way.

What did you think happened next? Did I see the light at the end of the tunnel, do to heaven (or hell in my case), get stuck in the shinigami belly? Ha! Not in my case. My luck got me… again.

Or the story of my second life. Hell yeah!

* * *

Well… let's start at the beginning. So I died, but instead of, well,  _dying_ , I found myself in a luxurious room, sitting at a huge wooden table filled with files, folders and paper. Across the table sat some weird dude. He looked, well, animated and suspiciously like Madara with a Kakashi style facemask. His posture screamed annoyed. And he was staring right at me.

For what seemed like hours we sat in silence. It was kinda suffocating, at least for me. He was sorting the papers, occasionally scribing something down. Realizing that he wasn't going to speak up anytime soon, I decided to take the lead. And my life went from normal to batshit crazy from there.

"Hello? Who are you? If memory serves me right, I just died. Is this some type of transition place? Or am I in a coma?" I spoke, even though my voice was on the verge of braking. I didn't want to die. At the very least I could speak despite the shock.

Before my mind could get overflowed with depressed thoughts, he lifted his head from the papers and eyed me in a lazy manner.

"Why did I take this job again?" he mumbled. Then he pushed the papers to the side and put his elbows on the tables, placing his head in his palms. "Hey. I'm a minor god. Indeed, your guess is right. You died. This is no coma. But this is no transition place too. You see, your type of soul is a parasitic one. It means that it doesn't like to leave the world of the living and clings till the very end. Due the system failure, your soul managed to stay in the land of living. This means that you'll get to be reborn with your previous memories. But don't get me wrong. You  _will not_  relive your previous life. You will be reincarnated into another body before its birth. At the moment your soul is transferring into the body. It'll take more" he takes a look at his watch - is that Rolex?! - "90 seconds. Oh, and you got send to another existence plane, which means that the world will be slightly different, but" he picked a paper from the table and his eyes skimmed over it, " it's said here that you know about that world so I don't have to explain it to you." he finished, putting the paper back.

Wait,  _what?!_

I jumped from my place at the table, feeling panic overtake me and let the chatter begin. "The hell?! What do you mean "another world"?!  _System failure?!_ "

Well, apparently I can't even die like a normal human. Yay… the fuck.

Looking at me like I lack brain tissue, with an annoyed sigh, he started: "Look, we don't have all day. Some souls don't want to leave. Your life won't be shortened because you lived before. But, if you die again, there's no guarantee about what will happen. So try to postpone your death better this time.

"Before you ask, some of your memories  _will_  fade naturally, but they won't disappear. Like it always was. You can tell others about your memories, but that may make you a target, so be ready for the consequences. And you'll forget your previous name and face."

Before I could bury him with questions, he hastily got up, stuffed the papers into the folders and  _eye smiled._ "Sorry, our time's out. I've got, you know," I swear I saw him sweat drop. " _god business._ Good luck and, well, don't die!" He practically squeaked the last part and disappeared with a puff.

Well, if that wasn't the most fucked up conversation in the whole universe, than I don't know what it was.

That is how I found about the new journey of my life, making me question my sanity and, well, gods in general.

And then the world started to warp and it began.


	2. Childhood Arc: First year

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "…smth…" – talking in Japanese before the main character learns it.
> 
> "…smth…" – words in Japanese the main character understood before learning Japanese better.
> 
> '…smth…' – thinking.
> 
> /Age:…/ - age of the main character (till the age of one year she didn't know her exact age, it's for us to understand the timeline).
> 
> See the end of the chapter for translations.

 

* * *

_There's no such thing as what might have been. That's just a waste of time. It'll drive you out of your mind. - Tim McGraw_

* * *

Let me tell you, spending nine months in someone's belly may drive you crazy. You are neither sleeping nor awake, always in the state of something similar to euphoria. I spent half the time thinking about my death and what is to come afterwards, other half about the meaning of life. During the spare time I did what I tried to avoid the most: think about my past, my family. It tore me from the inside out. I wanted to scream, but I couldn't because it felt like nothing mattered. My life ended. I  _freaking died_. Why didn't I leave? What about my parents? God, they must be so hurt. Their idiot of a daughter died in her room, getting dressed. I wish I could go back in time, but I'll never get the chance to apologize to them, to laugh at the dinner table, to simply live with them. I'm all alone.

Almost every single part of me wants to give in. I don't know what I should do, but if there is one thing I am, it is a survivor. I won't back down. Death is the end for many, but not me. I was given a second chance and I will make the most out of it.

This is why, after what felt like an eternity, I let go. My old life came to an end, but my new is just beginning.

After nine months of philosophical thinking, guilt tripping, self-loathing, forgiveness and acceptance, I was born.

It was incredibly disgusting. And it hurt like a bitch too!

Being squeezed out of… well, you get it. Having no control over my body for almost a year, I was feeling manhandled.

God, couldn't my soul have been reborn  _after_  the birth?

After one of the most humiliating moments of my life, I felt something warm wrap around me. I couldn't comprehend what the people around me were saying, nor could I see them, the whole world seemed blurry. I was screaming out of pain and my infant body was quickly becoming exhausted. People felt like giants, their arms too big. Afterwards I felt like something – no, someone – took hold of me and pushed me to their chest. They started to say something, but, even though I couldn't understand, it was alright. The voice was gentle, most definitely feminine. The obscure words felt like a lullaby to my oversensitive ears. Soon I fell hostage to the world of dreams.

Though I didn't know it then, this was how I met my second mother for the first and last time.

* * *

_/Age: one month/_

Being an infant was highly embarrassing. I didn't have control over my body, which lead to not being able to do anything on my own. So I did the only sensible thing in my condition: I slept all the time.

During what seemed like the first few weeks I found out that the big blur taking care of me was almost always constant. I could make out the colors of their hair and skin, the form. They were rather pale and dark haired. The blur was also tall and big, and it had some facial hair I could feel when trying to touch their face. I tried to stay quiet, not wanting to cause too much trouble, but changing diapers and feeding was a something I couldn't do on my own yet.

This is how is spent my first month of life with my second father.

I couldn't understand where the person with the angelic feminine voice went. It felt like she was my mother, but maybe I was wrong. I hoped I was wrong. I didn't want to think about what had happened to her if she was.

* * *

_/Age: 1.5 months/_

A while passed before I realized that I changed in more ways than imaginable. How it escaped me is quite shocking, but…

Wow. I'm no longer a female.

Let me tell you, being a baby means you can't feel many things and twist your head a lot; your body is too different from what it used to be as an adult. So when seeing my new body piece, I did the only thing a baby can do.

I blinked. Blinked once more. Then I started crying like it was the end of the world.

The hell, I'm a dude! What the hell did I do wrong? For god's sake, spirit!

At the very least life can't get more fucked up.

(Somebody up there was laughing maniacally.)

* * *

_/ Age: 3 months/_

I take it back! Fuck! This is crazy! Hell no!

I do indeed know this fucking world. After all, it was my favorite anime.

I figured it out a few weeks after finding out about my gender swapping. It was dark in my room. I was in my crib, being the cute little baby I was. My vision and hearing kept becoming clearer. At this point I could pinpoint that the language my tou-san (because father was before) was speaking was indeed Japanese, the language I started learning a month before I died.

Back to the topic. Tou-san came closer to my crib. I could already make out his figure quite easily.

" _ **Hey there, little**_ _ **man**_ _ **.**_ _ **You ok?**_ _ **"**_ He started to speak. I turned my head in his direction. He came closer and leaned a little, so his face was even closer for me to see.  _ **"**_ _ **I'm so, so sorry**_ _ **, but your**_ _ **tou-chan**_ _ **'s needed at the front. It seems like the war is coming closer to an end, but every single**_ _ **shinobi**_ _ **must be out there. Be a brave kid, my**_ _ **nee-chan**_ _ **, your**_ _ **oba-chan,**_ _ **will take care of you. The Will of Fire shines brightly inside you."**_ At this point his face was mere centimeters away from mine, his eyes locked onto mine. They were watery, tears flowing freely. _ **"I hope I'll be back soon, Isamu. Stay safe.»**_ I could make out a few words during the speech. What is he talking about? Shinobi? Oba-chan?

_What is he apologizing for?_

I started to mumble, trying to pronounce the word "tou-chan" with my clumsy baby mouth, failing miserably. He laughed softly while picking me up and holding close to his chest, making me feel so safe and secure. The illusion shattered when I lifted my gaze to his forehead.

A hitai-ate with a familiar leaf symbol on a metal plate. Konohagakure symbol.

My eyes felt like they'd pop. No. Not  _this_  world. Not where children are sent to frontlines, where clans are massacred, where wars happens  _every ten years_ -

_Oh_.

So tou-san's leaving for – hopefully – a mission and I'm staying at oba-chan's.

I hope he come's home safely.

My soul just couldn't stay dead, could it?

I wound up in  _Naruto_  world. And I have no idea about where in the timeline I ended up.

Well… It's not like this will break me. So while here, I'll wreak as much havoc as possible!

…  _Just come home soon, tou-san._

* * *

_/Age: 4 months/_

Chakra. The power of life. A force that can give you an opportunity to do crazy stuff that I couldn't even dream of.

Today I unlocked it. It feels warm. My reserves are incredibly small, not that it's a surprise. I am a baby after all.

I close my eyes and try to feel it, but not touch it. No, I won't dare play with chakra. The last thing I need are crippled tenketsu. For the time being I won't try do use it. But later on…

Just you wait.

* * *

_/ Age: 4.5 months/_

_**«Oi, Isamu-chan! Don't eat that! Wait- holy crap, how?!»**_  Oba-chan's chin hits the ground from seeing me eating cookies… that were on the counter while I'm on the floor.

Oh, yes, that's my new name, Isamu. I can already get about one sixth out of what my oba-chan's saying. After all, being an adult-baby in has its perks.

It's been a while since tou-san left, give or take two months. Hiori-ba-chan is an angel in disguise. As my sight got better, I was able to see people more clearly. Oba-chan has short, curly chestnut hair, icy-blue eyes like tou-chan's and slightly tanned skin. She always stays home, which connects to her teashop. She's a very kind, caring and extremely patient person. She's single and lives alone in her small house, so the two of us got close very quickly.

Oba-chan usually takes me down with her to the teashop, where I steal cookies using every method possible. After all, I was an inventor in my previous life, so stealing cookies isn't that big of a problem. And it helps me train my little chubby hands.

I try to speak almost all the time, being unable to communicate is messing with my life, and I'm slowly getting there. But argh, being a baby sucks!

* * *

_/ Age: 6.5 months/_

"Ba-chan!" Finally! I did it! The torture came to an end, I can speak! All hail me! Mwahahaha!

Oba-chan blinked for a few moments before her outburst came in the highest pitched voice.

" _ **Kawaii! Oh my god, my big boy is all grown up already! And he gifted me his first word! You're so adorable!"**_ At this point I realized my mistake. She was  _strangling_  me! _ **"And so young! My god, aren't you a little genius! Your parents would have been so proud!"**_ Gah, this woman is crazy! I couldn't get a single word out of it. So loud…

She suddenly put me down and started sniffling. Then, in a voice not louder than a whisper, she said:  _ **"**_ _ **Thank you, Isamu**_ _ **."**_

You're welcome, oba-chan.

* * *

_/ Age: 7 months/_

It was early in the morning, around five am, but oba-chan was already awake. She took me downstairs and was already preparing the shop for the day. She moved around so gracefully, simultaneously with dancing and singing.

"Ba-chan, what name I?" I asked in baby-Japanese. I wanted to know my legacy, hehe.

She turned to me on her heel, her gentle smile in place. She leaned closer to me and started to stroke my hair while speaking. "Your name is Isamu, meaning "courage". Your last name is Amachi. It means "wisdom of the skies". Always remember what your name is, it's your family's honor as well as yours." She finished with picking me up and securing me on her hip.

Ah, my last name is way too ironic. Having the knowledge and wisdom of my previous life, it fits me perfectly.

And as for my first my name, it better work. I  _do_ need all the courage in this world to help things get better. Depending on where in timeline I ended up. Hopefully, I'm in Boruto's generation, but with my luck…

At least I'm in Konoha and not Kiri or Suna. Yay…

* * *

_/ Age: 7.5 months/_

My first steps happened a week ago. Oba-chan wasn't home, so I celebrated in silence. Finally, I can walk and communicate. Life doesn't suck anymore! Woo-hoo!

So today is extremely special. Oba-chan is getting ready at the moment. She put on a plain brown yukata, tied it with a green obi. Her hair is up in a ponytail. Her face a bit powdered.

She looks so beautiful, just like a model. I really hope I get her looks… And it doesn't matter that I'm a dude!

_Two hours later._

We were passing through the streets of Konoha. I was in oba-chan's steady hands, my head tilting from side to side. The mood was a bit tight outside, but people were still smiling. It was late afternoon so the streets were pretty crowded. I've seen a few people with Konoha hitai-ate, but not nearly as much as I've expected. My mind was overwhelmed with thoughts. ' _Why are there so little shinobi outside? Why is everybody so poorly dressed? Why are the food stalls so… plain?'_

"Ba-chan, why people sad?" My language skills were at the top of the… pit, I guess.

It took quite a while for my questions to get answered. Oba-chan's smile faltered then became a bit too wide and strained. She even looked kind of nervous. "Isamu-chan, why do you say that? Everything is fine, don't you worry your cute little head about it." She flicked me on the forehead after saying that, giving me the fakest smile. It could only mean that things are bad enough to lie about it.

At least I know that I'm not in Boruto's generation.

That is when we enter the central market, the place that gives us the view all around the village. On any other occasion I'd have loved to appreciate the beauty of Konoha, but my today my visage was caught on one particular thing. The Hokage monument.

There are three heads there.

Crap. The Sandaime's reign before the Kyuubi attack. The one where two Shinobi Wars occurred. The one I was born into.

I'm utterly screwed.

* * *

_/ Age: One year/_

It is my birthday. By now I have heard the mention of the war going on and the Yellow Flash of Konoha enough times to estimate my position in the timeline, which is just before the end of the Third Shinobi War.

It should've felt great, the war ending and all, but oba-chan and me are sad, oh so sad. Even though she didn't tell me, I saw it in the look on her face, the tears in her eyes. She received a letter from the frontlines today.

Tou-san is not coming home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -chan - honorific for a kid/girl
> 
> Tou-chan/Tou-san - father
> 
> Kaa-san - mother
> 
> Nee-chan - sister
> 
> Oba-chan/ba-chan - aunt
> 
> Kawaii - cute


	3. Childhood Arc: Learning to Fly

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> /Age:…/ - age of the main character.
> 
> See the end of the chapter for translations.

* * *

_Maybe happiness is this: not feeling like you should be elsewhere, doing something else, being someone else. - Isaac Asimov_

* * *

/Age: one year/

It has been a week since my birthday. Hiori-ba-chan has been devastated enough to even close the shop for the time being. A few women visited us to offer condolences, but that's it. No friends came to her, nor any family members, not that we have any. She told me that my grandparents died during the Second Shinobi War, leaving her and tou-san alone.

I still haven't asked about kaa-san. To tell the truth, I was kind of afraid to ask. I desperately wanted to believe that she simply abandoned me, this way I won't have to mourn that person. But now that I think about it, I never even knew her.

Today is the first time we left the house since receiving the horrible news. Ba-chan is carrying me in her gloved hands while I'm clinging to her neck. We're heading towards Konoha cemetery, both clad in black. After all, today is the day tou-san's name is being engraved onto the Memorial Stone.

We passed a few training grounds on our way. The skies are gray today, just like our mood. Ever so slowly, it starts to rain. Seems like even the skies are weeping, but we aren't. We've shed all the tears by now.

In the anime we've only seen Kakashi and a few others visit the Memorial Stone. In real life the place is crowded. The amount of mourning is unbelievable. So many lives lost for the desire of those pathetic lords, for their covetous natures. But, in the end, all that's left are loved ones lost, lands covered in corpses, children orphaned and people seething with hatred, the never-ending cycle taking its toll.

Wars only bring pain.

It took us a while to get through the crowd and to the stone itself. It looked just like I remembered it from the anime: a smooth black marble structure shaped as a kunai. Ba-chan brought me closer to the stone and started to go through the names –  _oh, so many names, too many_  – and it took about three minutes for her to come to a stop. At that moment her whole body froze while her eyes widened and lips slightly parted in shock. Some may say that she should have been ready by the time, but I can understand her. Knowing is one thing, but accepting is completely another.

Her eyes somewhat watered before she closed them. My little hands tightened around the fabric on her neck, my whole body felt numb while my throat felt drier than Suna. Ba-chan's hand traced a lone kanji – not kanji but tou-san's name – and she parted her lips bit as if to say something, but no words came out. Her gaze was unfocused, lips pushed back together. A few more minutes passed before she spoke, her hand never leaving the name.

"Amachi Kiyoshi." Her voice no louder than a whisper. My eyes traveled from her face to my tou-san's name and back. It took a few moments for her to speak again. "He was my otōto, two years younger than me. Always so bright, so full of life. He dreamt big, always chasing after the impossible. Such a pure heart…" Her voice faltered, but she took a deep breath and continued, an almost invisible smile forming. "He wanted to become a shinobi since he could talk, worked his way up. I kept my eye on him, always making sure that he was dressed and fed. Kaa-san and tou-san were both busy with their carrier and then the war. Otōto would always say that they were heroes, giving up their lives for our village. He'd do his best to become a Chūnin, then a Tokubetsu Jōnin. Always rushing right into the middle of the fight…

"Your kaa-san was different. She was always so calm, gentle, calculating. They evened each other perfectly. I guess that's why you turned out to be so prodigious _." No… please don't tell me about her…_  "Ayaka always wished to be a mother, but her poor health didn't let her. She was so lively, but after a series of unfortunate events her life turned into hell. As she turned twenty-four the doctors deemed her healthy enough for pregnancy. My otōto was ecstatic. After so many years of non-stop torture, negative prognostications, they were given a chance. During the pregnancy they were gleeful all the time. If it weren't for the relapse of her disease…" She signed, tears flowing slowly down her angelic face. She took a few moments to catch her breath, and I wouldn't dare interrupt her. What she just said, even though it hit me hard, wasn't too much to handle. If I were a real kid I might have broken down, but I'm not. I stayed quieter than ever, going as far as to try to breathe without a sound. When she continued, her voice was no longer a bitter one, it was more sorrowful with a note of acceptance. "They'd have been so proud of you, Isamu-chan."

Sometimes people live, sometimes they die. I know that. I also know that I shouldn't worry so much about a woman I never knew. But why…

_Why does it hurt so much?_

* * *

/Age: 1 year 2 months/

The weather in Konoha is getting chilly. At least it confirms that I was born during summer or autumn, but I don't know for sure. I wish I could read so bad…

Today me and oba-chan are going shopping. She dressed me in the cutest yukata shirt; it's dark blue and has this absolutely gorgeous silver petal print. My pants are plain black, but the quality is astonishing. She is a bit stressed about the fact that I choose female closing over that for males, but I don't care. I'm a cute kid and I'll wear this stuff, hehe.

Oba-chan was putting on some makeup when I realized that it's my chance. We only have one mirror, and it's placed way up the wall for me. Believe it or not, but I kept forgetting to ask ba-chan to lift me up every single time. I still have no clue about my looks, only that my skin is pale enough to pass for an anemic person. But today…

"Ba-chan, up! Mirror!" She looked down at me with her beautiful smile, only to be met with my pout and puppy eyes.

She squealed. Ouch. So maybe I overdid it a bit…

"Oi, of course! How could I've been so blind? You haven't seen yourself in the mirror yet!" She squats to pick me up and-  _fucking hell._

In the mirror I can see a toddler with pale skin, short black hair, small nose and big eyes. But the eyes aren't simply big. No…

Heterochromia, if memory serves me right. Left is an icy blue, just like tou-san's, when the right one is a bloody red. Both are extremely bright, the irises are huge when the pupils are very small. The lashes are long, thick and completely black.

Wow, I can see reason in why she squeals every single time I pout. I am so fucking adorable!

I turn my head to look at oba-chan, a mischievous glint in my eyes. I can totally use puppy eye look for  _anything_!

Oba-chan sweat-drops…

* * *

/Age: 1 year 3 months/

Today we went to visit the Memorial stone again. We go there every week, on Saturday, early in the mornings. At that time there are almost no people there, only us and the harmonious nature.

The war ended a few days ago, I've already started hearing rumors about appointment of a new Hokage in ba-chan's teashop. People were cheering, the streets were crowded, festival preparations are in place. Even after the war, with almost no money left in the village, people were still smiling and no one was giving up.

I was the only one afraid of what's to come. Even after almost a year of planning I don't have a clue about what to do with the Kyuubi Attack. Is there even a way to stop it? I'm  _one-year-old_.  _How_  can I stop something like  _that_?

Fuck, how can I help? I wasn't born just for nothing, right? Is there a way to help them at all? Can I prevent something like the death of thousands? I…

I guess I can't. I'm one-year-old child, no sane person would take my word seriously. I have no shinobi relatives alive. I have no way to contact Minato. Even if I do find a way, they might put me through a Yamanaka and fry my brain in process. Or worse, the council might find out. What someone like Danzō would do with the intelligence about the future… It's best to not risk him finding out. And there is Tobito, and  _Orochimaru._  Wouldn't want to find myself tortured and experimented on.

That's why I decided to lie low for the time being. I need to plan everything out. I can't risk the lives of tenth of thousands for my personal need. I need to prevent a war and stopping the Kyuubi Attack might only bring it closer or even kill more afterwards. In order to save those lives sacrifices need to be made. I just need to prepare.

I hope I'll live. If I don't, then Naruto will be born to protect those in need.

As soon as we arrived at the Memorial Stone I've realized that we're not alone. In fact, the very Hokage candidate and his team were there. Well, almost all of his team.

Obito was missing.

They were broken. Minato was staring at the stone with the pained look while Rin was crying, but Kakashi looked the worst. His knees were shaking slightly, his hands were in fists, his eye – the only eye to be seen – was closed and his head was bowed.

As we arrived right at the stone I was placed on the ground. I spared them a glance and trained my eyes on tou-san's name. Oba-chan bowed to them, with only Minato answering her. We stayed like that for a while, maybe an hour or so. Afterwards me an oba-chan left, bowing to them. Once again only Minato answered.

That night I had my first nightmare. It was far from the last.

* * *

/Age: 1 year 5 months/

A few month passed since we stumbled upon team Minato. It was said that the Yondaime was chosen, but not appointed for the job yet. My nightmares only got worse. I was an insomniac in my previous life so this is nothing new. I just wish that I wouldn't dream of people dying so fucking often.

But today is different. I woke up from dreamless sleep, got dressed and ready for the day. Oba-chan has a day so she decided to gift me a present. Calligraphy lessons! Finally, I can get on my way to become a Fūinjutsu master! Or at least learn how to read, hehe.

We sat at a low table. She took out a few scrolls and pencils, placing them next to me. "Today I'll show you how to write your name. First of all you need to learn how to hold a-" She shut her jaw with a click after seeing me take a pencil the right way. It's not like I could forget that, even with my chubby hands. Of course I couldn't write the way I used to – I haven't held a pencil in this life before – but I can learn again.

"I see you hold pencil. I do same." I try to explain my way of thinking because she looks like I broke her... oops?

"Oh, sure. How could I've thought less of you? Anyway, let me show you." She starts writing… something. Is this shit really my name? Who chose  _that_  kanji?

"Now you try it!'' She says cheerfully. Yeah, like  _that_  is possible for me. I try… and fail. Miserably. I feel embarrassed. It's a simple kanji! Why can't I do it?

"Oh, don't you worry. You'll get it! You can't be the best at everything. Calligraphy is an art that takes time and patience. I'm sure you'll get it." Ba-chan tries to reassure me. I used to be fine in it! Oh, come on. I wish I didn't forget hiragana and katakana. Damned memory of mine is worse than that of a goldfish!

I feel myself pout. I'm a brat so I'm permitted to do it!

That's when I heard a soft laugh. What's so funny?

"You're so cute! Don't you worry, most kids your age can't do what you can." Ba-chan flicks me on my nose before continuing. Ouch, woman!

" _I believe in you."_

… My eyes widen while heat rises to my cheeks. Four simple words to many, but not me. In my previous life people never believed in me. They expected me to know stuff I didn't like, but never did they believe in my power. I was always a shy, introverted girl. My opinions didn't matter. My efforts didn't matter. But she…  _believes in me._

"Arigatō, ba-chan."

* * *

/Age: 1 year 7 months/

The previous month was big: festivals, growing economy, the appointment of Yondaime Hokage. Yep, Minato took the hat.

My nightmares are still coming. At this rate I feel like I'm gonna look like Gaara 2.0. But it's okay, nothing too big. Not like I wake up screaming. And I can actually sleep. Ba-chan too me to a sensei after dark bags started forming under my eyes.

Seems like many orphaned babies have the same problem after the war.

So today I'm home alone. Ba-chan left to do her stuff, not my business. The time has come. I spent the last year meditating to enlarge my chakra reserves. It helped a bit. It is time to do the impossible! The day has come for the hero to rise!

The leaf exercise!

…

_3 hours later._

The fucking leaf won't stick! What the hell! I tried placing it on my palm, forehead, arm, elbow. I can feel my chakra collecting, but controlling it is impossible! It seemed so easy in the anime and all those fanfictons. Why the flying duck can't I do it? I was careful, my chakra didn't end yet, my tenketsu feel fine. I won't give up!  _ARGH!_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oba-chan/ba-chan – aunt, auntie.
> 
> Otōto – little brother
> 
> Kaa-san - mother


	4. Childhood Arc: Goodbye

* * *

_Don't wait too long. Life takes unexpected turns, so we don't always have the time we think we have. - Sylvain Reynard_

* * *

/Age: 1 year 8 months/

Day's have passed. There has been a significant increase in economy of Konoha since the assignment of Yondaime. Our teashop is flourishing! We have more customers, the prices have decreased and we are able to go shopping more often.

After a while I have set up a routine: wake up at five am, help ba-chan get the teashop ready at around 5:30, steal some mochi from the counter and use puppy eyes on ba-chan to get tea. Afterwards, as soon as the first customers start settling down, I go back upstairs to our room. There I meditate, read, learn new words and kanji, train. Mostly read because it is fascinating! We don't even get a glimpse of everything that happened in this world through the anime and manga. The history is enormous. I've read almost every child-friendly book I could get my hands on. There are books about the Sengoku Jidai, Rikudō Sennin, Shodai and Madara, Nidaime and the Sannin. There are many stories about brave shinobi saving the day. But the most are about the Will of Fire.

To tell the truth, even after learning katakana and hiragana, I still struggle in reading. You know, learning Japanese is freaking hard!

Settling into the beginning of my routine, I woke up and got downstairs to look for food. As soon as I get there I'm met with an image of ba-chan leaving the house. Wait, she's  _leaving her harmless sheep all alone?_

It's still very early in the morning, like six am. The light just started to peak through the streets, the air is still humid from the rain. Ba-chan's house is located in the civilian district, where life starts later than those of shinobi. But for us it's nothing: ba-chan's always used to be an early bird while I'm simply insomniac.

"Ohayo, ba-chan! Where you go? Why not with me?" I asked my only family while toddling to the porch. It's located at the entrance to the teashop, going right into the street. Luckily, she hasn't closed the door into my face.

Ba-chan's wearing her beautiful, knee-length cobalt dress without sleeves. Her hair is up in a short ponytail, a few bands framing her face. She turns around graciously, her gaze softens as soon as she sees me and her lips twitch up just the slightest bit. She kneels a bit to be closer to my eye level (it doesn't help at all).

"Konnichiwa, Isamu-chan. Even though today is Saturday, I have some business to take care of. We'll visit otōto next week, ok? I know you're a smart boy so there is no real need to ask for any genin teams, right?" Is… is she manipulating  _me_  into behaving? HA! Now it's my goal to go all Hulk-y!

My can feel my smile go from sincere to mischievous and my eyes shine with excitement. "Sure, ba-chan! I not do bad stuff!"

From the annoyed look she gave me… yep, she doesn't believe me a single bit. She spoke, her voice  _daring me_ : "Of course you won't. After all, you wouldn't risk eating hare for the rest of the month, would you?"

That's a punch bellow the waist! No! She knows I hate meat in any form…

In my previous life I used to be a vegan. You know, feeling bad for every single thing alive, being an animal lover and all. Hell, I haven't even tried hare before I was reborn! Now not only I need to eat meat (shinobi diet requires protein and there're not any substitutes I can get before I can afford it myself), but I'm supposed to  _hunt_  my dinner. Literally, the way shinobi do it. Fuck my life. At least I can choose fish instead of hare… and tofu's later on.

So… nope. Not eating  _that_. "I won't disappoint you, Oba-sama!" Or my stomach for that matter. Argh! This woman is the second coming of Stalin!

She left after that, ushering me inside to close the door. This is how I ended up on the first floor, where the teashop itself and the kitchen are located. So, having nothing left to do there, I went upstairs to our room. Ba-chan and me share a room, my crib and her bed being close together. We have a wardrobe, a few nightstands, a bookshelf and a low table for studying. Everything is earth toned and quite modern, even if a bit cheap.

For the last month `I've been training in chakra control. I didn't exhaust myself and kept track of my tenketsu situation. Due to me having large spiritual reserves (because of being an adult in a toddler's body my spirit and its energy transferred into a chakra pool… I guess) and small physical ones, I try to meditate a lot. During the year my chakra increased a bit, but I'm still too young to try anything drastic. This is why I settled on the leaf exercise: easy, doesn't take a lot chakra and helps in control. Plus I know the basics from the manga.

So this is how I spent the last month, trying to concentrate chakra in my palm and then to attach it to the leaf (or paper, whatever I found), wrapping it in chakra. At first I was horrendous in it, but, as time passed, I got better. So yesterday I was finally able to make the leaf stick to my palm. It only stayed this way for nine seconds, but this is still great! It'll be a while before I'll be able to do anything other than that, but still. I won't push it or try something like tree-walking at two. I'm too much of a coward plus I'm lazy as a Nara. Or worse.

So I decided to wait for ba-chan while doing the leaf for a bit (I took it to 10 seconds). Afterwards I'd continue doing something I started a few days ago, right after bribing ba-chan into getting me a few notebooks.

My very own Naruto World information book. It took me a while to convince ba-chan to actually get me a single notebook, but after the war life (money situation) got easier. So as soon as I got it I decided to use a code. In a code. In a code.

What I mean is that I decided to use codes for everybody's names. And to write it all in the hardest language I know, which turned out to be Russian. And to use a different alphabet, going for Hebrew alphabet**. So, after a few days of non-stop writing, I got 2,5 full notebooks, while each is around 50 A5 pages. And I have a tiny handwriting. I got it into sections, such as:

Kages.

Major characters.

Villains.

Major events.

Wars.

Jutsus/techniques.

Minor characters.

Minor events.

Villages.

History.

So, in order to make sure it's safe, I like having a small bag with me. I keep all the stuff there. Or I keep the notebooks there, just in case. Thankfully, our bookcase is stuffed enough for me to use it as a hiding place.

So, by the time ba-chan comes back, I've written more 15 pages and progressed a bit in my chakra.

I just hope me not doing anything now won't bite me in the ass. But why would it? Simply leave the village or go to the Memorial Stone on the tenth of October.

Sorry, Naruto. I can't risk everything just for you. There are too many others at risk.

* * *

/Age: 1 year 9 months/

Today oba-chan tried to set a play-date with our neighbors kid. She's three, a cute little girl with chocolate hair, hazel eyes and medium-toned skin. She wore this adorable green dress with an abstract print in turquoise. Her hair was up in a ponytail. It was a pleasure to look at her while she's quiet. But as soon as she opened her mouth…

"Kaa-chan! I want play! Make her play! Make her, make her!" The little devil screamed. I don't want to play your stupid games, you brat! Kids are so boring! She can't even pout silently!

"Isamu-chan, play with Aiko-chan! It'll be fun!" Her mom said, clapping her hands. Yeah, maybe it'll be for you, but not for me. I never played games, only shogi (at which I suck) and some educational games. But still, I hate playing kids. They're annoying.

Wait a second…

"… You know I'm boy, right?"

Wow, both her and her mom went tomato red in mere seconds. Do I really look that girly? And as for ba-chan… she was laughing her ass out. Traitor.

_Two hours later._

"Kawaii!" Squealed all the females in unison. As for the reason why, well…

I was standing in the middle of the room, my face powdered. My hair was in two short pigtails, a few bangs falling onto my face. I was dressed into a pastel pink yukata dress and white sandals. And I was blushing like crazy.

All in all, I look like a porcelain doll. * HELP *

If I turn out to be a cross-dresser, I blame those three.

* * *

/Age: 1 year 10 months/

It was raining. Everything seemed so dim, so cold. It was not right. Something was off.

As we walked through the empty streets of Konoha, the wind grew wilder. It was barely dawn on Saturday. Oba-chan was carrying me, both of us clad in winter closing, trying to stay warm. But it is May. It is  _wrong._

At one point the wind blew like crazy, sweeping away anything on its way. We were almost ready to head back when a hand appeared on ba-chan shoulder.

"Excuse me? Hi, I saw you struggling here. Maybe I can help you?" Asked the person behind us in a familiar voice through the wind. Where…?

As ba-chan turned around, we were faced by –  _please, no_  – Minato Namikaze, Yondaime Hokage. Out of all the people to stumble upon, it had to be the one I don't know how to save.

Am too afraid to save.

"Oh god, Hokage-sama! I'm so sorry; we were heading to the Memorial Stone. It's ok, we'll be fine, thank you very much." Oba-chan started rambling, swinging her hands up and down. Which led us to: "OI!"

Yep, I fell all the way down. Goodbye ninja carrier, and life, and saving the world, and…

"Hey little one, you ok? You can stop screaming, you know." Said a person – no, my  _savior –_ and I was met with a brilliant smile and cerulean eyes-

Great, I Minato saved me. My fucking luck, to be saved by the one I can't save!

I stopped screaming as I looked up at him. I know I had a dumbfounded look on my face, but who cares? The Yondaime is smiling at me, his bright eyes-

They will lose their spark soon. I want to save him. The man that always looked for peace, negotiating with different villages before fighting. The battles he always won.

But I'm not even two. What can I do? How can I save him without killing so many more? He's one man I know about from a TV show. But this…

This is reality. I can't favor him above others.  _I'm sorry._

"It's no problem! I was heading there myself. A week ago my student got attacked… isn't it ironical that I was too slow?" He said while walking over to handle me to ba-chan.

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry! You have my condolences, Hokage-sama. This must be so hard on-" Ba-chan started rambling again, but I had one thought in my head.

"Does peace exist?" I asked, shutting her up. I received incredulous looks from both of them. Minato looked like he'd seen a ghost. Or worse.

"I…" I could see the pain in his eyes, the suffering. He's a pacifist, bred to kill. His wife a Jinchūriki. His students died one after the other. Rin already died, setting Obito on the path of hatred. Minato truly wanted to believe, to succeed, he  _deserved that,_  but… " _I don't know."_

The rest of the way was spent in silence.

* * *

/Age: 2 years/

Just like all those years ago, it smelled warm. I was upstairs, sitting at the low table. The shop was closed for the day. Ba-chan decided to gift the day to me.

This is when I can hear the dear voice and smell the amazing treat.

" _Happy birthday to you._

_Happy birthday to you._

_Happy birthday, dear Isamu-chan._

_Happy birthday to you!"_  Ba-chan sang in her sweet voice while entering the room with a hot blueberry pie – just like it was before – with two candles on top.

I felt something warm inside my stomach. My eyes started to redden with unshed tears and my body trembled.

Maybe it'll be ok? Maybe we'll survive, growing stronger? Maybe it's all the way it was supposed to be?

_Maybe they will survive?_

I blew the candles, making my wish.

(But wishes don't always come true.)

* * *

/Age: 2 years 3 months/

It was October ninth. Only one day left till the Kyūbi Attack. I've made a plan. I'll throw a temper tantrum for the first time in life. Don't get me wrong, I pranked ba-chan a million of times, but never have I started screaming or demanding something. She'll be too shocked to go against me, leading to us going to the Hokage Monument. There we'll spend the day, near the shelters inside the monument. As soon as hell breaks loose we save our asses. Then we continue living.

I thought it was an ingenious plan of me, saving my ba-chan and me. Only if I knew of its flaw…

The morning went great. There were more customers then usual. Ba-chan was humming a song while I was stealing cookies. People were smiling and kids were playing. The ninth of October was supposed to be a simple, good day.

It was more of a blur.

It was nearing dusk. There were less people outside, most coming home after a long workday. There was bustling, you could see some shinobi jumping across the rooftops. It was an average day. I was home with ba-chan, me upstairs, keeping the leaf stuck to my forehead with chakra. Things were going according to the plan.

That's when I felt that- that  _sinister_ chakra feel every inch of air.

_An almighty roar broke through the skies._

I was terrified. This is not happening. This can't be happening. It's too early!

I was frozen in my step. The ground was shaking, but it was utterly quiet. Nobody dared to speak.

With the second roar screaming began.

I ran to the bookshelf to take my bag. No, no, no! This is surreal! What changed? Why, why did it go this way-

I felt the ground shake, the world swirled.  _Impossible_.

Ba-chan burst through the room. She was crying – so was I – when she picked me up. She ran downstairs and out onto the street.

It was like an apocalypse. The level of destruction was unbelievable. But my attention was pinned on a huge fox and its tails that razed houses within seconds. The chakra was suffocating, I could hardly breathe.

So this is the power of Kyūbi no Kitsune. Total destruction.

It all happened in a blur. I saw corpses – a little was missing her lower half, her entrails covering the ground; an old man with a spike through his torso; a teenager being buried under a building; a young kunoichi smashing into a wall…

And much blood everywhere. It covered every centimeter of the ground, of walls and stalls, kids, teens, grown-up, elderly-

All of them dead, missing limbs, blood spreading over everything within range.

Ba-chan kept running towards the shelters in the mountain – we lived so far way, it seemed like there was no way to get there at all. Screams, blood, fire. That's the way it all looked.

But there was still a frail chance, the last bit of hope. I choose to believe. ' _We will make it'_ , I think determinedly.

That is when I see a  _Bijūdama_ tearing through the sky and  _a building to our right collapses so_   _close_ ,  _we_   _don't have time._  The bricks start falling and-

I go flying through the air? But why? Where is ba-chan? I hit the floor, feeling something break, it  _hurts so fucking much,_  but…

I see her. Her beautiful hair that is framing her angelic face. Her long dress – her favorite – tattered into nothingness. Her eyes – those gorgeous icy blue eyes – are blank. But they are never blank! No, they're full of life, always shining! She's quiet –  _too quiet._ She always sings, hums, dances. Her body's sprawled down –  _you need to get up –_ on the floor, not moving. Why, why,  _why?!_ And there is that strange –  _alien_  – crimson liquid flowing down her hair, tinting it red. This is wrong!  _What is going on?_

_Why isn't she getting up?_

"B-ba-chan?" I stutter – my voice so small, my throat so dry and my eyes so wet-

The last thing I felt was being held up before sinking into abyss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oba-chan/ba-chan – aunt, auntie.
> 
> Kaa-chan – mother
> 
> Ohayo – good morning
> 
> Otōto – little brother
> 
> Konnichiwa – hello
> 
> Shodai – first
> 
> Nidaime – second
> 
> Yondaime – fourth
> 
> Rikudō Sennin – The Sage of Six Paths
> 
> Sengoku Jidai – Warring States Period
> 
> I actually know a few alphabets including Hebrew. It's perfect for coding because there are no written vowels (they use vocalizations). Russian is a hard language on its own. Combining it with Hebrew alphabet without the use of vocalizations makes it almost impossible to break through. This is the reasoning I used.


	5. Mimura Hamaki – 3rd POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> '…smth…' – thinking

* * *

_I love that word. Forever. I love that forever doesn't exist, but we have a word for it anyway, and use it all the time. It's beautiful and doomed. - Viv Albertine_

* * *

The ninth of October. It started of as any other day. Citizens of Konoha woke up with the dawn. The shops were opened, Genin were sent on D-ranks, Chūnin continued with their job, mostly desk ones. Jōnin were given tasks of outmost importunace.

For many it was a normal day. At least it began as such. But it wasn't for Yondaime Hokage and his wife. After all, it was the day their child was supposed to be born.

The morning went by, passing as usual. Mimura Hamaki was a Jōnin of Konoha, one of the best it could offer. He fought alongside the Yondaime himself, survived the hardest battles during the Third Shinobi War. He was a truly strong shinobi and he knew it. But even he wasn't prepared for the hell to come on that faithful day.

He was having one of the few days off. It was a rare occurrence and he liked to make the most out of it. He woke up early, his mental clock denying him a chance to sleep in. Groaning, he got up. He decided to go for civilian clothes and start the day with getting breakfast at one of Konoha's teashops.

Even though he was a shinobi, he was a clanless one, coming from a civilian family. Thus he was living in a civilian district, even after his parents' demise in a terrorist attack during the Second Shinobi War. In fact, it was better than clan district in some ways: it was quieter, cheaper and had better infrastructure. Hell, even the Yondaime preferred to live in a civilian district and that's saying something.

His district is closer to the center, leaving him with an enormous variety of teashops. Rather than going for the closest one, he chose a petite, pleasant one at the corner. It seemed like a private teashop, the one owned by that girl – was it Midori, or Miori, or Hiori… yes, Hiori! – since her parents died. It used to be the first floor of their house before the girl renovated the place. He went there sometimes, a decent place with a calming ambience – a heaven for shinobi, he mused.

So, settling on that teashop, he entered the place. The air was warm while the aroma had honey notes in it. There were six tables total, only two of them occupied. Opting for the one near the wall, Hamaki sat down. Not a second later a young woman in her late twenties came up to his table. Het hair was chestnut and short, while her eyes were icy blue. She had a happy smile plastered on her face and bounced in her step.

"Hi! Welcome to our teashop! Would you like anything to drink or eat?" asked Hiori cheerfully. She held a notepad in her left hand and a pen in her right. She was looking at him, making him blush the slightest bit.

"Morning. I'd like," he paused, thinking over it, "gyokuro tea and a botchan dango platter, please."

"Sure. It'll be ready shortly." Said Hiori after scribing the order in her notepad.

Breakfast was a quiet affair. Luckily, he didn't meet any of his acquaintances there, gaining the dose of peace he needed so much. Afterwards, he paid and left, bidding farewell to the owner of the place and going his way.

He took his time, planning to go to an onsen and rest for a while, before the meeting he sat up with his friends a few days ago.

Choosing one of the best hotels in Konoha, he started towards it. Even though he's a shinobi, he can't just Shunshin there. In fact, only those on duty can use techniques while in civilian districts. It's due to civilians' fear for shinobi and their power, no matter what they do.

A while passed. It was nearing sunset when he departed from the onsen. He spent a few precious hours there, taking his time to relax, even though it was a bit hard , considering all the perverted teens and their Gama-sennin club. 'Pff,' he mused, 'they've never seen the pervert in real life – and he's feared by all the other nations! Kami help us.'

This is how he found himself strolling through the streets of Konohagakure, heading home for a change of clothes and lunch.

Nothing was off. It was supposed to be one of his rare days off, but his  _fucking_   _luck_  got the short strand of a straw.

He was nearing the corner of his street when a suffocating chakra filler the air, stopping even him – a seasoned Jōnin, nonetheless – in his tracks. It felt like pure evil, feeling him with fear. It was so eerie, eery feeling filling his whole body.

Not a single person dared to move. Everyone stopped, their bodies not able to move in such presence. It was dreadfully quiet.

That's when the demon – no, a  _bijū –_ moved, over them, appearing right in the center of Konoha. Kyūbi no Kitsune roared through the skies, its enormous form towering over Konoha as whole, its huge nine tails destroying everything in its way.

Hell on earth broke loose.

People started to scream and run – but there was nowhere to run to. Hamaki knew that he needed to help, as it was his duty as a shinobi. But how could he help now? He was in civilian clothes, his uniform abandoned at home with his weapons. But the civilians were screaming, buildings were falling, the ground shaking. So he moved.

Faster than a human's eye can comprehend, Hamaki appeared near a civilian man and pushed him out of harm way. Then he moved to help a child, but even his speed was nothing in comparison to a bijū's might. He was just too slow.

The boy died right in front of him, his body crushed beyond recognition. His skull broke, blood coating the ground.

A mere child died. And he was not the only victim.

As Hamaki went on, trying to save as many as he could, but it was still a losing battle – a human against the strongest demon. His body still shook, the presence of the demon strangling him, making him slower than ever. There were too many dead already, bodied covering the ground beneath him. He looked up and saw true hell.

A woman with half of her body completely destroyed; a girl, her arm and leg missing, blood pouring out of the wound and eyes dull; an elderly man, decapitated, his brains covering the walls. A young teenage boy, his innards falling out, him trying to keep them inside and failing, dying slowly; an infant, his lower half completely destroyed with a tents that exploded to pieces, his screaming still fresh in Hamaki's mind; an adult woman, a brick shattering her temple, her brains all over the floor, her eye popping out and her daughter holding her close to her chest, sobbing, calling out for her mother.

As Hamaki went on, only more corpses were met, many were dying. He saw a huge chakra bomb flash over the village, the power making him feel so small. Yet he still sent as many wounded with Genins and Chūnins as he could, trying to help others. That's when he hears a building collapse and a scream,  _a child's scream_.

He turned around and was faced with a toddler, no older than two. He had pale skin, black hair and different eyes: one blue, another red. He wasn't moving or screaming anymore, even with his leg bent at a wrong angle, definitely broken. No, he was utterly quiet, his eyes glued to the remains of the building and-

_Hiori_. The owner of the teashop he visited just today, recalling her cheerful personality. Her body was mangled beyond recognition, spiked piercing her body, her innards covering the floor, her skull crushed with a brick. Her eyes, always so alive, were unfocused and dull. Blood was seeping from her mouth, and skull, and body. She was dead, completely destroyed.

He turned back to the kid, who was completely quiet, tears streaming down his cheeks. 'So young,' Hamaki pitied, 'and knows death already. Too young.'

That's when he heard a mild call from the boy and stilled. 'No…' he wished he was wrong, that it was a mistake, but it wasn't. The boy said "B-ba-chan?", as if not believing the scene he witnessed.

Hamaki came closer, but the boy had yet to make a move. His eyes were blank, face shocked. He picked the boy up, holding him close to his chest, trying to cover his eyes. He could feel the kid's sniffling calm down, falling asleep from exhaustion and pain. Looking around, Hamaki found no lower ranked shinobi to take the kid to the shelter, leaving him with only one option.

He took to the rooftops, trying and failing to ignore Kyūbi's roars that pieced through the sky. He was still inwardly shaking from the sight, but the adrenaline and experience helped him keep his pace and his body in control.

The boy in his arms was clutching onto his shirt even in his sleep, eyes still puffy from the crying. His heart was filled with compassion for the child – Kiyoshi's son. He recognized his father in the child; his left eye color and face features looking just like the lively Tokubetsu Jōnin's. He knew that the boy's mother died right after childbirth, and he saw the boy's father die, sharing the same division.

There was another roar and he utilized a Shunshin again, making his way to the shelters with an orphan in his arms. He got almost tripped over a building that started to collapse, but was fast enough to only strain an ankle. The pain meant nothing when there was a monster out there, killing hundreds, maybe thousands just  _because_.

As Hamaki stepped into the territory close to the entrance to the shelters in the Hokage Monuments, Uchiha police officers helped him up and took the kid from him. One of them turned to him with a questioning glare.

"Who are you and who's the kid? What is your situation?" Asked the officer in a hasty manner.

Turing his head to stare at the officer, Hamaki started, "Mimura Hamaki, Jōnin of Konohagakure. Today was supposed to be my day of," he said, snarling a bit, " and the kid's Amachi, don't remember his name. His is an orphan, found him near his aunt's corpse. He was in shock, might need therapy. Has a broken hip bone. Passed out on our way here. I only have a strained ankle."

Hamaki was feeling that power was leaving his, his chakra almost completely depleted after the amount of Shunshins he utilized.

The officer looked at him, his glare replaced with a sympathetic look. "We'll take the kid to the medics. Thank you very much, Mimura-san." Said the officer and gestured for the one holding the child to take him away.

Hamaki smiled at the police officer. 'Seems my job here is done… might as well rest for a bit.' He thought as he slipped into unconsciousness, the Uchihas calling out for him somewhere far away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> gyokuro – Japanese tea
> 
> botchan dango – Japanese snack
> 
> Shunshin – Body Flicker Technique
> 
> Gama-sennin – Toad sage
> 
> Bijū – tailed beast
> 
> Kyūbi no Kitsune – Nine Tailed Fox


	6. Childhood Arc: Hurt

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> '…smth…' – thinking

* * *

_Time heals all wounds. And if it doesn't, you name them something other than wounds and agree to let them stay. - Emma Forrest_

* * *

_Pain. So much pain._

Jeez, what the he hell is going on? Oh god, that's one killer headache I've got. Why do my eyes hurt so much? And what's with the fucking smell? Is this antiseptic?

God, did I get into hospital? But why would I? I'm an introverted Computer Science student, finishing my BSc. I never party; neither do my very few friends. I live with my parents and older brother. Due to me being an unsocial person, I spent most of my time home, either reading or sleeping.

So why on earth would I get into a hospital? The last thing I can remember is preparing for a date and-

Fuck. I'm a fucking moron. I try moving my hands that are so tiny. I can remember pale skin, black hair and mismatched eyes of a toddler. My whole body is tiny, not suitable for an adult. No shit, after all, being reborn and all the crap. At least there weren't enough people to actually be hurt by my death back home… nah, I was a jerk. They'd get over it. I hope.

One mystery is solved. But back to the topic – what the hell am I doing at the hospital? I remember the day starting with Oba-chan and me opening the shop. It was as usual. I went upstairs to train, as I always did. The day went on as always. It was… the eight of October? The ninth? So close to the Kyūbi Attack...

My head! Argh, it hurts so much! Gosh, I can't even think normally. And my leg's in a cast – why would it be this way?

Ok, back to the topic. So the day continued as usual, nearing dusk. People were coming home, shinobi were traveling through rooftops, kids were playing… I could feel their life, their spiritual energy shining brightly in this dark world. It was fine, just before the roar broke-

The roar. The sinister chakra filling the air all around my village, the immense form of a fox demon, the dead – the blood filling every inch of the ground, the tangled limbs all over me, the innards covering the floor, the screaming, the severe destruction, the hideous feeling inside my gut…

Ba-chan's lifeless form, her mangled body pierced, her viscera falling onto the ground, her eyes so dull, blood everywhere. Her hands outstretched because she threw me. She  _saved me_.

I was supposed to protect her, but I couldn't. I was too weak, too slow, too stupid. I completely forgot about the butterfly effect, and it laughed at my stupidity. I wanted to save her, but I didn't. And there is no way to bring her back.

Idiot. I feel my eyes water. My throat is dried than Suna. My room is filler with people, moaning in pain, but I tuned them all out. My body won't move, can't move. It's not because of the physical pain, no, that one is bearable. On the other hand, my mind is just so... blank.

'She's dead and it's my fault. My beautiful, precious Oba-chan is dead. She'll never smile again, never laugh. She was always so full of life, always there for me. She was the parent I needed, the light in the darkness of this world. She took care of me when my parents died, always smiling for me. This gorgeous person that always saw the best in others. Her skull crushed, her chakra gone, blood everywhere. She died to protect me, died  _for me._ She did so much for me… and I did  _nothing'_

Tears were already streaming down my cheeks, wetting the pillow. My body was shaking, which caused for my broken leg to hurt even more. A sob broke out of my mouth.

'Ba-chan…' " _I'm s-sorry."_

I broke down. I was a sobbing mess, crying, and screaming and kicking. The IV was ripped out of my arm, causing me to bring it closer. Medics came rushing down, trying to calm me, but it wouldn't work. I had only one thought in my head, repeating it over and over again like a mantra.

' _I'm sorry for failing you, Ba-chan. For failing you all.'_

* * *

Three days have passed since I woke up. Most of the time I was on drugs. When not, I'd lose my shit and dissolve into a crying mess again.

I haven't been paying much attention to what people said. I'd hear an occasional "Sandaime's back" and "Demonic spawn".

My leg's mostly healed. Perks of Iryō Ninjutsu, I guess. My medicine helps me sleep. A few people tried talking to me, but I saw no reason to answer. It doesn't matter. Nothing matters anymore-

No, thinking like that won't do me any good.  _She_  died, they  _all_  died. But letting them die in vain is the worst thing to do. I was born into this world, given a chance. My soul chose this world. I survived till this moment and I will change things, fucking up the plot or not. I saw too many die due to some batshit crazy stuff on some stone written by some type of symbiotic demigod and I'll not let any more pass away because of it.

Life is a precious thing that we treat too insignificant, and I'd rather die than let it stay this way. But to make this dream come true, there are still many more to die. I'd need to deceive every single person in this village, but that's okay. After all, a shinobi's purpose is to endure.

With that in mind, I drifted of to sleep again, thinking 'Thank you, Oba-chan.'

* * *

Next day came fast. I woke before dawn. Everyone else was still asleep. The room got spacious – I guess some people left… or worse.

There was some water on the floor, near my futon. I guess too many were wounded to spare actual beds. I reached for it and flinched when pain echoes through my sore muscles. What the…

I looked down and saw my whole body bandaged. My leg was out of the cast, but it still hurt like a bitch. The IV was in my left arm. What little skin was visible was covered in bruises and cuts. I was wearing my slightly tattered and overly filthy pants and shirt. The room stunk of antiseptic even more now than before. The floor was dirty and bloody, at least 30 wounded of all ages were here. The walls seemed like they used to be white, but they were tainted red and grey with dirt and blood.

I tried reaching for the water, flinching once again. But this time I managed to take hold of the glass. Catching my breath a bit, I brought it to my lips and took a few sips of water – liquid of the paradise – and started to do the one thing possible at the moment. Plan.

First things first: I need to remember the fucking attack. I remember freezing from the bijū's chakra, then grabbing my bag-

_Where in the seven hells is the fucking bag?_

I turned my head around, searching for it. I know that they won't be able to decode it… or they will, but it'll take them like a few more years. But before planning on leaving the village, I saw my bag to the right, decorating the floor with its existence.

Forgetting about the pain, I rush to the bag (and whine 'cause of the stupid decision) and throw its contents on the floor. My eyes follow the three notebooks as they hit the floor. My knees give in out of relief, making me stumble. Picking the notebooks back up with my shaky hands, I place them back into the bag and put it near my futon. Who knew that walking a few steps on a broken leg could be that exhausting…

Aaaand I blacked out.

* * *

Waking up for the second time, I find the room stuffed with people. Some of them are crying next to the people in futons, but others are iryō-nins. Exactly what I need.

"Excuse me, Sensei? Could you help me, please?" I ask the doctor to my left, standing with her back to me. My throat is dry once again. Argh!

"Hi! Finally, you are responsive! We were so afraid! My name's Natsumi, it's a pleasure! What's your name, little one?" Asks the doctor. She wears this strange robe/dress/whatever iryō-nins in Konoha wear. She smiles at me, but it's just too far-fetched. The bags under her eyes speak off sheer exhaustion and that the amounts of casualties don't allow the iryō-nins even the briefest moments to rest.

I look at her, trying to make my mouth twitch up (and failing) and say: "My name's Amachi I-Isamu, Sensei. I'm t-two years. I have no parents. My Oba-chan d-died," I gulp, looking at my hands, "she died a few days ago during the attack. I-I wanted to a-ask if the f-funeral happened already. And h-how many died. And what h-happened." Gosh, am I stuttering? And shivering? So pathetic of me. I might have lost a lot, but that doesn't give me permission to just break down. I'll need to train in hiding my emotions… without Danzō. Yeah, not gonna come near him. Uh-uh.

Her smile slipped, her gaze grew even wearier. She looked at me, brown eyes meeting my mismatched ones. A frown appeared on her face, making her look a lot older. "An orphan. I see. I'm sorry, Isamu-kun. About the funeral… it happened yesterday. Many were lost, including the Yondaime himself. The demon destroyed everything in its way, not shoving any mercy. But Yondaime-sama managed to defeat it. But, "she leaned closer, as if to tell a secret, "beware a blond-headed demon. Don't let its looks deceive you." She took a step back, relaxing her posture. 'That bitch… no, it's not her fault. Not many can see a difference between a vessel and a tenant. Poor Naruto's orphaned once more. But this time he won't be alone, I swear,' I think, getting a bit determined. Yes, showing Naruto a bit more love would only be for the best. Before I could continue my trail of thought, she asked me: "Isamu-kun, do you have any other relatives in Konoha? We could get in contact with them easily." She reassures me while checking on my vitals and leg.

"No, they died a long time ago." I answer, feeling a pang in my chest. My hands reach for my hair, only for me to stop out of pain. My first mom and dad are in the past, my second died before I could get to know them.

"I see. It means that you'll be put into the orphanage. Do you know if your family has shinobi background?" She asks.

"Yes. Tou-san used to be a Tokubetsu Jōnin. I don't know about kaa-san."

"Ok. In this case, I guess that you'll be put into the academy sooner or later. For now you'll be moved to the orphanage. There're many kids your age there so you won't stay alone. You'll be provided with everything there. Today at noon a caretaker will come to take you there. Sorry once again and good luck!" With a wave, she left me buried in my thoughts.

Konoha Orphanage. The place that Danzō favors the most. Bad, very bad. But I can't stay in the shadows. Guess I'll need to stay away from him and train at the same time. But how would I do that? Plus, I hate interacting with "kids my age". That will bring attention to me. But can I simply say no to him? Or…

Or I can go to the Sandaime and report Danzō. Two birds with one shot. And I can't just sit down doing nothing. There is a shitstorm coming the village's way. But making myself a target won't do me any good. And I need to find a field to specialize in.

Hmm… it won't be taijutsu. No way. I hate moving and sports. I will train in it, of course, but only to some extent.

It won't be ninjutsu. I like it, but it's too taxing. I'd run out of fuel in minutes. Plus I'd be young when the shit starts, meaning that my chakra reserves won't finish growing by the time. So no do.

I will try iryō-ninjutsu. It's interesting, practical and isn't too taxing. And come on, healing wounds without medicine! It so cool!

I also will try kenjutsu. It's practical, can be combined with ninjutsu and is rather interesting. And, you know, the more the better.

Fūinjutsu doesn't even need to be considered - I will train in it. It's so much like math and computer science! I love it. And this is the art that can do practically anything. So yay!

As for genjutsu, it's something I'd love to specialize at. It plays with a person's mind, fools senses and helps you manipulate them. It can be perfect for almost every field. And, for all the good I can do in the frontlines, I'd rather stay in the back and help from the shadows. It's easier to gain control over situations this way, and it's more secure. Maybe I'll even combine fūinjutsu and genjutsu. Oh, the possibilities! This would be beautiful! I might even find a way to fool the infamous sharingan! And-

Yeah, firstly I must stay alive long enough. Well, at least now I have an outline of the plan.

* * *

At noon straight an old woman with greying hair in a bun and hazel eyes came to pick me up. She had a kind smile on. She was rather short, her back arched a bit from the stress. She wore black and white robes. Her skin was tanned and wrinkled. She walked to me, eyeing me calculatingly, but kindly.

"You're Isamu-kun, right?" I nod once, answering silently. "My name's Rei Shinju. I'm the orphanage's current head caretaker. I've heard about your loss, I'm very sorry. We'll try to make you seem at home with us. There are kids of every age from infancy till early teens living with us. I'm sure you'll find many friends." She stoops talking to offer me a hand. I take it without a second thought. She seems like a rather decent person I'd like to keep on my good side. She helps me up slowly, then she lifts me up and throws my bag over her shoulder. She spares me a glance before asking: "Do you have any questions before we arrive?"

Looking into her eyes, I decide to ask the first few that are bugging me. "Have the bodies of the dead been identified? What was done to them? Where are they buried? Can I visit my Oba-chan's grave? What is the overall outcome of the attack? What happened to the monster? How many people will live with me? Will I get an allowance? If yes, then how often and how much? What about my family's estate? Will it be passed over to me? What about-" My ranting was cut short will a hand slapping my mouth. Oops, guess I just pissed her of.

"Aren't you a smart one? To answer in order: Most have been; they were cremated; no, they weren't; yes, you can leave the orphanage from nine am till noon; 4000 injured, 1380 dead as of today; it was defeated by Yondaime-sama; there will be eleven more boys sharing the room; yes, you will; it's monthly, consists of 300 ryō plus 4 percent every year till you start earning your own money. If you enroll into the academy, your allowance will cover all the necessary equipment for the studies; your family's estate will be sold, but you will be given a smaller apartment in time. Okay, let's get you to the orphanage before we spend the night in here." She said, holding me closer and leaving through the doors to the hospital.

And we were set on a new journey.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oba-chan – aunt
> 
> Kaa-san – mother
> 
> Tou-san – father
> 
> Kyūbi – Nine Tails
> 
> Bijū – tailed beast
> 
> Iryō-nin – medical ninja
> 
> Sensei – doctor
> 
> -kun – honorific, indicates a boy


	7. Childhood Arc: Home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See the end of the chapter for translations.

* * *

_There is a very simple secret to being happy. Just let go of your demand on this moment. - Adyashanti_

* * *

The walk to the orphanage was rather silent. Shinju would occasionally fill the silence with stories about the Will of Fire, the brave ninja and all the shit. She'd tell about the Yondaime as well. Turns out he grew up in that orphanage, with her knowing him. She's rather strange, but kind. I'd have participated in the conversation, but I had a lot on my mind. Well, not all that much, but no big difference. What mattered was that the thing on my mind was Danzō, or how to avoid him.

I know that he liked to pick up orphans. That, most likely, didn't change. And he dreamt of collecting prodigies. I can already see him drooling when I use chakra at the age of two. That means no showing off.

I have to stay low till I enter the academy. After that the Hokage and the shinobi will protect me, I hope. I also need to befriend people, the more the better. I need to make sure that others will realize if I disappear. And it better be people closer to Sandaime, meaning Chūnin/Jōnin level shinobi plus Naruto. And about Naruto… was he living at the orphanage? Or maybe at the Sarutobi estate? Who knows. I guess that I'll find out sooner or later. Him living at the orphanage makes more sense; it'd bring too much attention to him if he lived with the Hokage. But maybe he lived with a caretaker. Plus his jinchūriki status… how didn't the foreign villages find out? I can't believe that they had no spies in Konoha. By the way he was treated it was clear that he was the vessel. Maybe they tried, but his ANBU guards protected him. It makes sense. And he had an apartment at twelve. Maybe a caretaker used to look after him, or even ANBU, but with time they stopped. Or Sandaime taught Naruto how to care for himself.

I have too many questions a too little answers! Ugh!

While I was going through my mental breakdown, we arrived at the orphanage. It looked rather old, reminding me of a wooden church. It was located in nowhere, but it remained whole, even though a bit scratched like it survived through a rather small earthquake. There were a few kids around, all of them cleaning something. The surrounding area was green, a small paying field with a sling and… nothing else. Guess shinobi kids prefer physical games in the forest… Ew. Moving. Still have a hard time grasping the fact that I can no longer laze around. Well, better prevent all the shit in this world sooner so I can become a vegetable once again.

I was placed on the floor and my bag was given back to me. I looked at Shinju, expecting orders. Or food.

"This," she began, "is our orphanage. It consists of one building. Inside you have everything, beginning with the cafeteria and ending wit accommodations. You'll be shown everything. There are three levels, two above the ground and an underground one. It's made for storage, library and art supplies. We share everything here, so you must always ask before doing something. There is a schedule for everything. You'll be given daily chores. The older kids will help you. The day starts at five am with showering and tidying the room, breakfast at six, chores till nine, break till noon with an opportunity to leave the orphanage's area with a kid assigned to you. At half past twelve you have lunch. From one pm till four pm you're supposed to have educating time with a caretaker and a group your age, but you seem smarter than others so I guess we'll assign you an older group. From four till six you have more chores and at half past six you have dinner. From seven till eight you have a break. From eight till nine you need to get ready to bed and at a quarter past nine you must be sleeping in your bed. Don't spend your allowance on silly stuff; don't argue with anyone; don't be dirty; don't eat too much or ask for more; don't get into fights; don't be rude; don't do anything on your own; don't take anything that isn't yours without asking for permission; don't be a problem; you don't ever steal food, nor take it without asking; if you miss a meal you will wait for the next one patiently; always try your best; the matron is always right; keep your stuff tidy in your bag. That's it for the rules. You break a rule – you get punished. It doesn't matter what rule you break – you get sent to the chamber on the underground level for four hours. You won't be allowed food or water. Am I making myself clear?" By the time she finished the lecture I decided to run. It's a prison! Argh, how did the Sandaime permit this? Is it even legal? No wonder Danzō likes the fucking place. And they already have eyes on me. Fucking great, guess I'll need to be twice as careful.

Getting back to the world of living, I hastily nod my head while saying: "Yes, Rei-sama! I won't disappoint you!" Jeez, no need to get on her bad side, that's for sure. I just hope I won't cause too much havoc, hehehe…

So while I was planning the future demise of the orphanage, we headed towards the entrance. As we got closer I could see the old wooden structure better. It was pretty huge, but that doesn't surprise me. In a shinobi village orphans are common. The kids outside looked older than me, about eight or nine. They were carrying the fallen logs away from the orphanage. There were quiet a few to pick up. I could feel their chakra rise a bit, giving them a power boost. I couldn't see their faces all too well, but the opportunity will come later on. There was a sign near the door, saying "Konoha's Orphanage". Creative…

We entered through the doors and were presented with a long hall. To the right there were a bunch of shoes. Following the routine, I got them off and carefully set them aside. I had simple slip-on shoes, nothing fancy. The hall was rather quiet. I turned to ask a question, but I was beat to it.

"It's already two pm. Most of the kids have lessons. Usually older ones are at school or academy, but both have gone through the attack and need to have major repairs. This is why they were working outside and not studying like the others."

I nodded, accepting the answer. She patted my head and pushed me into the corridor. I could hear voices coming out of the numerous doors. The corridor was beige, on the traditional side. It was quite plain and pretty clean. There were stairs in the middle, leading both up and down. As we passed them, I could make out a clattering noise and a smell of… porridge? EW.

"What we just passed were the classrooms and the matron's office. Right now you'll be presented with the showers and toilets. After them you have the dining room. You always come here on time, okay?" We continued walking as she was pointing out the rooms. "After the dining room we have the kitchen and the head office. You also have a playroom, the auditorium and the medical wing. Most of the time there are shinobi asking for out services as iryō-nins, the way for us to earn money. Some of the kids are taught in the art as well. But in order to do it you'll need to accesses special energy called chakra." We almost came to the end of the hall. There were some of the bigger doors that led to the dining room and auditorium. Each door in this part of the building was labeled, saving me the trouble of getting lost a thousand times. I already forgot half of the stuff she said. I hate my short memory!

Turning around, I asked her a question: "Am I going to be helped by an older person, Rei-sama? I forgot almost everything, but I can read a little."

She looked at me, amusement in her eyes. "Indeed you will, Isamu-kun. A boy from your room will help you get used to everything here. There're 12 people per room of all ages. Due to the recent events we don't have enough available beds. You'd be fine with a futon? I wasn't told that you have any restrictions."

"I'll be fine, I guess. I wanted to ask about my old place: is the house fine? I have some stuff there that I'd have loved to pick up." I ask as we head towards the stairs.

She turns to look down on me, her gaze a bit… strict? "The house is mostly fine. You can take some stuff, but all of your toys, books and art supplies will be available to everyone. You can only have 4 sets of clothes, 2 pairs of shoes, one coat and one hat. Everything else will be given to other kids. All of the hygienic stuff must be kept. If there is any food left it will be divided between all the kids. You can also keep a mug, a spoon and two tea types. If more are found they're going be taken to the kitchen. You can eat outside on your allowance.

Well, that's it for the first level! Let's go upstairs to the accommodations." With that she turned to the stairs and waited. I'm only two. Of course I'm slow. Pff.

As we got upstairs, she showed me the female and male wings (the right one was female and the left was male). She showed me around the rooms. There were no kids inside the rooms. All of them were tidy. Each futon had a pretty stuffed bag near it. The few beds had sections underneath the mattress. When I asked about the infants she said that they live in the caretakers'' wing. There were a total of fourteen rooms with twelve beds/futons. Holy shit, that's almost 170 beds! I'm doomed (my antisocial side is burning).

"This is going to be your room. You'll be the youngest one here. The oldest boy is eleven years old, while the youngest one except you is five. You'll meet the boy that was assigned to help you during the dinner. As for now, put you stuff here," she gestures towards the futon near the window, "and go get a shower. I won't allow you to walk as filthily! Come with me for the change of clothes." She waves for me to come, and I obey.

We go downstairs, to the storage. There she gives me the clothes and ushers me towards the showers. There I spent about half an hour on everything, and finally I don't feel like I'm gonna itch to death.

As soon as I walked through the door an adult woman crouched next to me. She was very tall, slim; she had long, blond hair in a high ponytail, tan skin and hazel eyes. And, of course, she wore the black and white robes. She reached her hand for me, brushing her knuckles across my cheek. This is officially the creepiest caretaker ever!

"Hi, Isamu-kun. My name is Umeko. I'm your age group's teacher. You got here today, right?" I nod slightly, still a bit shocked after, well,  _her_. "I see. You're lucky: a few kids from an older group finished their chores early so they can show you around. Let me take you to them." She finishes, her voice so smooth… abort the mission! I have a gut feeling that she's Pennywise! What should-

That's when I hear giggles and screaming. Well, shit. Even Pennywise is better than that.

Well, I need to make friends. Unfortunately. Or find a Jōnin to adopt me… wait a minute.

Hell, this is a perfect Plan B. All I gotta do is find a Jōnin, befriend him and make him want to adopt me.

Easier said than done.

So, for now, I'll try to befriend some kids  _and_ befriend a Jōnin. I just need to actually find a Jōnin.

Back to the present. I see three kids coming closer to me. One has brown hair, other spiky dark-blonde hair and the last one has long black hair. They seem around four years and are  _very loud_.

"Zaji! Let's stay here and rest, you baka!" Screamed the girl with black hair. She has a green dress on.

"Come on, Haruki! We have free time, let's go and play outside! It'll be fun, I promise!" Countered the boy with blond hair. He's dressed in grey shirt and blue shorts.

"Shut up, Saisu! You don't understand! I want to rest very much, I don't have your energy!" The girl growled at the blonde.

The brown haired boy 'tsk'ed and turned to the girl: "Haruki, we don't get breaks like that every day. Let's enjoy this before they make us do more-"

And he was cut off because  _somebody_  erupted with laugher.

"Oh kami! I love working here!" Umeko turned to the tense kids, "Hey, children. It's perfect timing! We have a new boy and I'd like for you to keep him busy till dinner. Can do?" The three kids started nodding hastily. This woman is a demon incarnate…

"Great! Come back a bit earlier, like five minutes or so. He's yet to meet anyone from his age group. Ja ne!" And with that the caretaker *cough* crazy lady *cough* left me all alone with three loud and vigorous kids. Crap.

"Hi?" I say in a questioning tone. I hate this stuff. "I'm Amachi Isamu. Yoroshiku." I finish, looking around a bit. They're staring at me. Why?

Then the blonde points at me and  _yells_ , making me grimace. "Yo! New kid! I'm Kamano Saisu, and I'm gonna be the best ninja ever!" He gestures at the brown haired boy, saying: "This amazing guy is Zaji. He can know where people are without looking! He's almost as cool as me!" Saisu earn a "HEY!" for that statement, but he seemingly doesn't care. After that he point at the girl boringly and continues: "And this one is Haruki. She's boring as hell and lazy. Say, you wanna play with us?" He yells the last part. Better safe than sorry, I guess. Plus friends like that won't be too bad.

"Yeah, sure. What are we going to play?" I say. The girl looks like she's on verge of tears, but stays quiet.

Zaji throws his fist into the air, grinning widely while saying: "Yay! I like you already, Isamu. So where do you come from? Got any hobbies? Why are your eyes strange?" Oh, the ranting began. I just couldn't evade it.

"I'm from Konoha, Zaji-san." I avoid talking about Oba-chan, answering the next question: "I like reading, drawing, creating stuff and sleeping. My eyes look different because tou-san used to have blue eyes and kaa-san had red ones." At least I think so. I never had the chance to ask. "What about you? Do you have any hobbies? What are your dreams?" I ask. It'll keep him busy for a while.

"Sugoi! You sound fun, if a bit lazy. I like…" I tuned him out for a while. While he talks I can observe them. The blond seems familiar. I guess he might have been a minor character before. The brunette is  _very_  distantly familiar. An even more minor character, I guess. The girl is someone I can't recognize, but I have a very bad memory, so who knows. They seem fine, all planning on entering the academy. So I'd rather befriend them. Or at least try to.

They kept talking till we exited the building. That's when Haruki turned to face me, looking slightly shy. Her voice was barely audible, "Isamu-kun, do you want to be a shinobi too? Or are you," she paused for a moment, as if choosing her words, "aren't you afraid?" She finished, her ears red.

I thought about it for a moment before answering. "I am scared, but that won't stop me. I want to help so there will be fewer orphans like us. My ba-chan told me that my name means courage, so I must live up to my name in order to make my ba-chan proud."

The three looked at me, puzzled looks on their faces. Oops, said too much?

"You're weird," said Saisu and his grin turned feral, "I like it. Come, let's play ninja!" And with that he took off to the trees.

Let me explain the basics of the game to you. It's a bit like tag and a bit like hide and seek, but with sticks for kunai, kicking and punching allowed and hopping on branches. A lot of hopping. At first I couldn't do it, but it seems like kids in this world use chakra subconscious level. At least Zaji said that I need to use "colorful energy" in order to do it.

I was always the first one to lose, but it's okay. I'll treat it as training. It's good for speed, agility and tracking.

We had a lot of fun. I'd chase after them, they'd hop like bunnies (so cute!), and I'd try to catch them. Once I almost tripped when jumping, but the leaf exercise paid off: I was able to stick to the bark of a tree for almost five seconds and I didn't even feel it take a toll on me! Hooray!

In the end, when it was getting dusky, we arrived to orphanage, sweaty, smelly and happy. Even if they're kids, that doesn't mean they're bad people. Or boring. They're rather funny, and they have their own ideas, even if naïve.

This is how we ended up in the dining room at six twenty five, laughing and fooling around. I spotted Shinju eyeing me in an odd manner, smiling slyly. That should ring bells, but I'm too happy to be a skeptical nerd now, so I decided to toss her a smile. Let's hope I don't find mummies running after me.

Crazy lady came up to us, smiling in her creepy manner. "Hey, kids. You had fun, I see. That's great, I'm glad that Isamu-kun made friends. But I need to introduce him to his age group and other kids too. We have a few newbies today, so you better pay attention." She finished in her overly smooth voice and pushed me towards the table with many small kids. They were messing around, bantering, eating messily. Ew. Can I go back to older kids?

Shinju walked towards the middle of the dining room, tapping on a glass to get attention. "Everyone! Today we have two new kids! One is two, other is seven. Welcome Amachi Isamu," They start clapping at my name, while I try to shrink into the chair. Too much attention. "And Minoji!" they clap again, but at the brown haired boy with some strange marks hear his eyes. They make him look kind of like a lizard. He's a bit reserved, but otherwise he looks normal.

I turn to Umeko with a silent question. She smiles at me before saying: "You can choose where to sit on your own, it's just that most prefer to sit with their age group, but you seem a bit different. Introverted?"

Ha, like I'd fall for that. No two-year-old kid knows what introversion means, so I'll play along. "What's that?"

Her face turns a bit irritated. "You don't like people?" She asked. And she looks after kids, for real?

"Not very much, Umeko-sama. I like silence." I answer in an embarrassed manner, looking at the floor. Gotta keep the act up!

She frowns a bit, but says nothing, leaving me to fend for myself. Picking up the porridge, I find an empty table and sit there. Porridge. After two years of mochi, dango, pies, cookies, tea and sushi I'm to eat porridge. Goodbye, chubby looks.

While I was playing with my meal, a girl came up to me. I looked up to her and my mind stopped.

In front of me was a doll. Long mint hair, tanned skin, light blue eyes. She had a small nose, rosy cheeks and pink lips. She. Was. Adorable!

Getting out of my stupor, I ask her: "Hi. Can I help you?"

She smiles at me, tilting her head a bit. Her green locks falling onto her other side. "Konnichiwa. My name's Kazumi. I'm six. You seem quitter than others, which is great. I can't stand all the noise. Can I sit with you?" She finishes with a question. She seems fine. She wears a blue shirt and green shorts.

"Sure, sit. Yoroshiku onegaishimasu. I'm Isamu and I'm two, but you already know that, I guess." I say. I'm bad at communicating. I really hope she talks. Or stays silent.

Going for the second option, it seems. After saying "yoroshiku onegaishimasu", she stayed silent during the whole meal. At the end, she bowed to me end left.

Little did I know that it was how I met my best friend.

* * *

After the meal I decided to go to my room. I hoped it'd be empty there, but luck wasn't on my side. As I entered the room, seven boys from six till ten were there. One of them was on the floor, crying.

Fucking great. I've bullies as roommates.

The one that looked like he was the oldest turned to look at me, disdain clear in his gaze. "What da ya want, shrimp?" he asked, lifting his nose even higher.

Well, it's not like I haven't dealt with bullies before. "I live here. I have a futon assigned to me. I'll keep quiet, you do what you want, okay?" I asked. I would've done something to help the dude, but I'm still two. But as soon as I get stronger I'll shove a stick up the bastard's ass.

"Let me see… how about you give me your allowance and I don't beat you? You also do my chores for-"

Oh, you little motherfucker, I'll not wait to fucking grow up. He doesn't even know what he's gotten onto his head now, the son of a bitch.

"How about not? If you as much as try to touch me, then I'll make your like hell. And you'll keep away this guy," I gesture at the little boy on the ground, "and his stuff too. Cross my pass – learn what a real demon means." I say before going into the room. But before I'd even cross half of it, the bastard tried to attack me.

Jumping to the side, I did the only thing I could think of: I started using chakra to run faster and hit harder. It seems like all those hours of training finally pay off. Even though I couldn't beat them, I still managed to punch every single one of them before a voice rang through the room.

"What the hell, Takeshi? Can't pick someone your size already?" I turned to the owner of the voice and tensed. I know him. I've seen him in my previous life in the anime. Silvery-lavender hair, black eyes, tanned skin, around four years…

The older boy seemed to tense to. Hell, he looked horrified. Turning his head, Takeshi spoke: "Sh-shin, how are you, brother? We were just playing with the new guy-"

_Not on my watch, you son of a bitch._

I stood straighter, saying: "He's lying. They were bulling the other boy before I came in. After that I asked them not to touch me if I stay quiet, but Takeshi, right?" The older one snickers, but nods. "Takeshi told me that I's also need to give him my allowance and do his chores. I disagreed and he started to beat me up. Thankfully, you came before they turned me into an omelet." I finished. Shin, Shin… who is he?

Turning from me to the older boy, Shin growled: "He's under  _my_  wing. Touch him – deal with me. Understood?" They all nodded. Whoever the dude is, I like him.

Turning back to me, Shin asked with a smile: "Hi. I'm Shin, as you could already tell. You're Isamu, right? Saw you at dinner. You got a futon near the window?" I nodded and his smile only seemed to grow at that. "Great. Mine's next to yours. These guys," he gestured at the bullies, "are nothing to worry about. A bit training and they won't dare touch you. Heck, I'm four and even I'm better than them." He smiled and offered a hand. "You seem like a nice person. Do you want to be my friend?"

Wow, is this like my Prince Charming? He's a very sweet person. No need to be a fortuneteller, we'll get along just fine. And, hopefully, I'll remember just  _who_  he is. Grinning at him, I shook his hand.

He grinned back before saying: "We have 12 people here. Those six are jerks, but nothing to worry about. The one on the floor," he gestured to the blond haired boy, "is Shibire. He's fine, but very shy. You'll get used to him. Others are newbies like you, but they came in earlier. You got wounded?" I nod and gesture at my leg. All the running didn't do it any good. "I see. Anyways, you know me already. Iruka is in a bad mood now, so try not to hurt him or anything." Gosh, the fucking odds. I share a room with  _the_   _Umino Iruka_! Cool! "Sora is a lazy head, but he's fine. Kojimaru is pretty active, but kind. And Kenta is very clumsy and energetic, so stay away from him, hehe. That's it. For the time being I'll be helping you get used to the place. Make yourself at home!" With that he giggles and I feel a lot lighter.

Maybe making friends is actually gonna be a lot funnier.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yoroshiku onegaishimasu – in this context it means "nice to meet you". Kinda.
> 
> Oba-chan – aunt
> 
> Sandaime – Third Hokage
> 
> Yondaime – Fourth Hokage
> 
> -sama – honorific that stands for lord and the likes.
> 
> Also, I wanted to explain about the currency. It's said that one ryō is about 10 yen. So 300 ryō is 3000 yen, which is (count in that I was checking with the nowadays currency exchange rate) about 30 dollars. It might seem even a bit too much, but it's a post-war hidden village, meaning that the prices are higher (at least in my AU). 30 dollars is like 3 goes to a cafe, not more. And the kids need to buy clothes, equipment and stuff (only basic equipment is provided).

**Author's Note:**

> After reading incredible SI!OC stories like Irio-nin Kasa by Vaengir, Dreaming of Sunshine by Silver Queen, Changing lives with a bang! by melloschocolatecake and Catch Your Breath by Lang Noi and others alike, I finally got my shit together and started my own fic. Check those out first, they're so much better than this.


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